The Unexpected Journey

 Hi all, well I got my answers. After 30 years of not having to worry too much about it. I have fractured my shunt. :( Not sure how I did it, kinda mad at myself because it's the last thing I or my family needed right now. I'm also dreading the surgery\ hospital stay. I had hoped I was done with them. I feel like I get something worked on every year now. I don't think that's accurate but it's how it feels.  I also am concerned because this could affect my brain more.  I don't want to be more of a burden. I know I have to talk to Scott about my wishes again. I just hate having the conversation, He doesn't deserve to worry like that. Maybe I will just write another letter. Somehow, I get the words out easier that way.    I have to admit, I don't want anything to get more complicated, I don't want to lose even more of myself. I worry about the toll it will take on Scott if I do. He is already internalizing so much, that he is full of stress, and it's affecting him physically and emotionally. He won't talk to me, it makes me sad. I wish He would find a Christian counselor or therapist. He's been internalizing so much, hiding since everything with his Mom. He refuses to share with me. I just have to stand on the sidelines and watch it all happen. It hurts but If I am not the person who he feels gives him strength and help, I have to accept that.  It does break my heart though. A wife is supposed to be the one her husband can rely on. It shatters me to know He doesn't see me that way.  Anywsy, I will update again when I know more about what's to happen next. Until then, Keep Looking up, my friends!💖 Mel