Updates and Changes

Hi all, sorry for such a long gap and not writing.  So much has happened emotionally. I just haven't felt I could write.  My brain surgery didn't happen. My shunt fractures will only be able to be repaired if they break away from the tubing, otherwise it's too dangerous. I still deal with daily chronic pain. I have a new neurologist now and he got me trying Emgality injection for my migraines so far it's helped more than anything else I've tried. He also tried trigger point nerve cluster injections for my neck pain , However, that failed as relief only last 4 days.     Tomorrow morning, I finally get to talk with someone from Rheumatology about my Fibromyalgia pain. I pray she has better answers for me. I'm pretty nervous.    My Aunt Teresa's been diagnosed with an Ovarian tumor, Heart valve issue and thyroid problems so I am praying for her. I pray she finds a better doctor.  I keep praying for Leah to get approved for disability as she is now going to Vicky Hartzler's office for help in her case.        We continue to wait on another stimulus package and I pray I can be in better health to start working then. And Scott is working from home at least until September.  That's all I can think to say for now. I will try to post  again soon.

New normal

Hi all, Due to the pandemic that is still going on. I'm now doing my doctor appointments virtually. It's not something I'm used to, so I hope I don't screw it up.  Our church services are virtual. And only one person per family can get groceries . It's so odd, and though the cases of Corona virus don't seem to be getting to much higher, it's still very present. I'm not going to stop praying. I just want to see family , have some fun and celebrate things again. Scott is still working from home. I'm thankful He still has his job. It just makes things a little harder and definitely different. I hope I can get answers with my doctor today. My neck continues to worsen , leaves me shaking and in tears much of the time now.  I will update more soon. My heart is kind of heavy today. But I  don't have answers for so much that id going on. I just keep praying... Until next time. Mel.🌹

Time Flies, Things Change.

 Hi all, so I went to see the neurosurgeon and He said I don't need surgery due to the area of the break . And the fact that I've had it over 5 years and not suffered neurological damage.   Also, we are facing a pandemic worldwide right now. It's Covid 19 or the Corona virus. We have to practice social distancing by not making  physical  contact with others. Our sporting events and church services are cancelled, people are in a panic , making even toilet paper scarce. People have lost their jobs, and they still haven't found a cure. I pray for it to be found every day. I miss my family so much. It's a mandate that we can't have more than 10 people together at a time. I pray it ends soon so things can get back to normal. They are even cancelling Dr. Appointments and not scheduling more unless it's an emergency. I worry about the immuno compromised of my family and friends. I just keep praying for God to help them find a cure.  My fibromyalgia is still a big problem as is my neck pain. I've asked Dr K. For a cervical spine MRI. And a referral to a Rheumatologist but I think much is at a stand still , so I pray for God to help me just get through each day. It feels like I've been steam rolled and is so difficult just to keep my head up, the pain in my neck makes me want to constantly lay it down. I feel so useless. Right now, because of my health, Scott refuses to buy a new computer so I can work from home. It's so awful to constantly feel like a burden and not be capable of helping when things are so crazy. It's only by God's grace that I am getting through each day at this point. The pills I have, to deal with the pain have become very ineffective. I'm very tired and so sore all the time. At this point even getting showered and my teeth brushed is something I consider an accomplishment. Living  in the pain as I am, I'm still looking up guys! Keep the Faith! Until next time, Mel.

It's Almost Here.

Hi all, I haven't written in a few days just because my body has not been good to me, and I've felt pretty awful. My pain level keeps rising, my migraines and nausea are worse and my neck is so painful I want to scream.  I will be meeting my Neurosurgeon first thing in the morning. I pray he is kind, compassionate and sympathetic. As well as extremely well versed on how to help me. The daily struggle is getting harder and harder to push through. I pray this surgery helps that and doesn't make me more of a burden. Our 14th Anniversary is in two days and I just want to  have a chance to feel pretty and enjoy it. I'm scared and exhausted but I know God is in control, whatever comes. I hope I come out on the other side of this better able to celebrate life with Scott and my family. Now, I'm going to try to nap and hopefully ease some of the pain. If I never do anything more in my life, I hope people  will see I kept the Faith and did my best to Honor God.  Love in Him, Mel.🌹💚

Swirling thoughts among life happenings.

Hey all, today is a day my head is filled with so much it's hard to sort it all. Terry's grandmother died last night. My heart goes out to all of them. Leah is hoping to get a chance to go be with Terry for the funeral.  There are so many health issues in my family right now. The stress is a lot. I 'm trying to pray every time I think about it all.  I can't help but wonder if the reason God has not allowed me children, is that because of my health issues, He doesn't have a longer life planned for me. I always had the fear I wouldn't have children and that heartbreak became my reality . So this may be Him just trying to prepare me. I'm not sure. I don't have the heart to tell anyone else about it. I just want to live the best life and be as helpful to them as I can, in the time I have left. I realized many years ago that my life was anything but normal, I just hope that my family and friends are helped by the life that has been given to me.  And that they can always know I have given all I could  to enjoy life with them.  If I come through this surgery, I hope and pray God will help me to become less of a burden and more of  an asset to those that need me. I miss Volunteering in Disaster relief, being able to help at church or in outreach. Making meals or baking to brighten others'day. So many things, I want to do with Scott. I hope He finds joy again, I worry about his physical and mental well being because of all of this and his job. i pray for big blessing of a new opportunity job wise for him that really lets him show his talent and that would refresh him. I miss going on walks and exploring new places.  I know it is probably stupid at this point but I still dream of a home we can make our own.  I know this post is all over the place but it's what I could verbalize of all that's in my heart. May better days lay ahead. Keep the Faith all, Mel. Xoxo Gal. 2:20

Answers and Waiting.

Hey all, have some updates. My Mom will be having an ultrasound on her throat on the 11th. I pray they can find the answer as to why her throat is constricting. And I will have my neurosurgeon consult on the 17th. I went to the ED Monday night, discovered I am also in a bad Fibromyalgia flare . They gave me some meds to manage the pain.   I've really been trying to push away the fear and steep myself in Faith and God's word and encouragement from Bible Teachers\ Speakers.  So that's what I'm doing today  . I'm super thankful my fur-babies are being cuddle bugs today. I need it.  The meds are helping me sleep some better. I don't know what I will do when I run out. Guess I will enjoy while I am able. Until Next Time, Keep Looking Up! Melissa.

Tough Night

Hi all, last night I gave in and went to the ED. At first, I didn't think they were going to help but after a few minutes , I guess confirming the information I gave them from my doctor, they set me up in a room. Thankfully, they gave me pain meds because they realized I was in a bad Fibromyalgia flare on top of everything else. I'm grateful the first doctor had that insight and cared enough. Still learning about my fibro and the ways it affects me, it made the testing a lot easier.Then I went for more X-rays and an MRI. Thankfully nothing has worsened since my initial X-Rays on the 21st. So now, I just have to wait to see how Neurosurgery wants to proceed with my shunt. I have scripts for pain management to help with my Fibro in the meantime so maybe it won't exacerbate my shunt and head pain as much.  I hate not being in control of how I feel. It's terrible to have to rely on others so much. Poor Scott. I pray for him but still feel so guilty for how I put him out. It makes me sad. It's why I delayed so long in going to the ED. I know it's always such a hard thing for him.  I know he's tired today and I pray God helps him in his day. It's not fair to him to suffer like this. I wish I could change so many things. But I know God is continuing to be with us. Keep Looking Up guys, He promises to Never leave or forsake us.😊💗 Mel.